The actions you take during a divorce can affect you in unexpected ways, so follow sound advice to avoid mistakes that could haunt you for years. At Leap Frog Divorce, we have decades of experience helping clients avoid or repair problems, and we know that knowledge is a valuable ally. Here are some of the most costly mistakes you can make, and how to prevent them from turning your divorce into a more difficult ordeal than it needs to be.
1. Don’t Treat Your Divorce as a Battle to Be Won at All Costs
The key to a successful divorce process that leaves you in a good position for the future is a willingness to compromise. Your goal shouldn’t be to defeat your spouse, but to find arrangements you can both live with.
When divorce becomes a battle, it breeds anger that delays resolution and can make everyone miserable. Instead of looking for an attorney who knows how to fight, you need an attorney who knows how to advocate for you and negotiate effectively to protect your interests.
2. Don’t Forget to Develop a Plan for Financial Matters
Divorce is a process fraught with emotion, and we encourage you to feel your feelings but not act on them. Divorce needs to be handled like a business transaction. You are dividing assets and debts, and the outcome will have a tremendous impact on your future. You need a plan for where you will live, how you will cover expenses, who will be responsible for insurance obligations, and a host of other issues. Your plans should cover both interim and long-term arrangements.
3. Don’t Rely on Legal Advice from Anyone Other Than Your Attorney
While the internet or your co-worker might offer helpful information if you need to rebalance your washing machine, you shouldn’t trust your family’s future to online legal advice that may not even comply with Florida law.
4. Don’t Try to Limit Your Spouse’s Access to the Children Without a Court Order
Both parents have the right to be a part of their children’s lives, so courts can penalize you if you do something that is viewed as infringing on your spouse’s parental rights. However, if you’re concerned that your spouse is putting your children in danger, contact the police.
5. Don’t Make a Move That Could Be Construed as an Attempt to Hide Assets
Florida law requires both spouses to provide honest, accurate, and complete financial information so that marital assets can be divided equitably. If one spouse tries to hide income or assets, the court can impose severe penalties. So it is wise to avoid doing anything that gives the possible appearance of impropriety, including:
- Destroying financial records
- Changing beneficiaries on an account
- Making a major purchase
- Moving assets and taking out large withdrawals
- Selling property
If these actions become necessary, keep careful records and consult your attorney to discuss the best approach.
6. Don’t Violate a Court Order
If the court has issued an order, comply with its provisions precisely. An order might address temporary support, parenting time, financial obligations, or restrictions on property or communications. If you are not sure what you need to do or avoid, ask your attorney for clarification. Violating a court order can lead to severe penalties.
7. Don’t Communicate in Anger
Communications with your spouse can be used as evidence that becomes part of the official record in a divorce. Every text message, email, voicemail, or app message could resurface later and make you look dangerous or unreasonable. It is a good idea to wait before responding to an inflammatory message and have someone else read your messages before sending to see if they could come across in a detrimental way.
8. Don’t Use Your Children as Messengers
When you are regularly shuttling your children back and forth between homes, it can be tempting to ask your child to relay a message to the other parent because it is so easy. Not having to communicate directly with your estranged spouse is often appealing, especially when you are tired.
But it is never a good idea to communicate through your children. It can make them extremely anxious because it may share too much information or make them feel they must choose sides. It also puts a tremendous amount of responsibility on their shoulders, which can lead to guilt if a problem arises later.
9. Don’t Post Anything About Your Divorce on Social Media
Social media offers an easy way to update friends and family, and the feedback can provide support when you feel alone and emotionally drained. But anything you post on social media could later be used as evidence, and it could affect your case in ways you might not expect. In particular, try to avoid posting:
- Angry outbursts involving your spouse or children
- Discussions of financial issues
- Insults or threats, even if posted as a joke
- Photos that could upset the other parent
- Accusations
- Disputes over parenting issues
It is safest to stay off social media entirely while your divorce is in progress, but if you cannot, limit what you post.
10. Don’t Agree to a Settlement You Don’t Understand
You will be bound by the terms of your settlement, and you could face serious consequences if you fail to abide by them, so it is important to understand how they work. Once you agree to a division of assets and debts and finalize your divorce plan, you cannot change it later just because you made a mistake. For instance, two assets with similar values might have very different tax liabilities, and if you didn’t factor that into your division plan, you could end up at a serious financial disadvantage with no legal remedy.
FAQs About Divorce Mistakes in Florida
Is it a mistake to be the first one to move out?
While it is important to consider the practical ramifications of your actions before moving out, legally, you don’t put yourself at a particular disadvantage by moving out of the marital home.
Is it a mistake to date before my divorce is final?
If you spend a lot of money on an extramarital partner or you date someone who could pose a risk to your children, you could face negative consequences in your property settlement or the allocation of parental rights.
Am I in trouble if my spouse has been the one handling all the finances?
In most relationships, one spouse knows much more about assets and debts than the other, which can lead to a less favorable outcome for that spouse. It is wise to make digital copies of all the financial records you can find and review them with your attorney.
Leap Frog Divorce Can Help You Avoid These Mistakes and Many More
Divorce ends your marriage and starts a new chapter, and we want that chapter to start strong. When you work with a knowledgeable, dedicated lawyer at Leap Frog Divorce, you can feel confident your rights and interests will be protected throughout the process and that you will receive the guidance you need to avoid costly mistakes.
We invite you to schedule a consultation with our team to find out how we can help you move forward through your divorce and beyond.
