Difficult conversations are never on our top list of priorities but unfortunately, the need to have them comes up from time to time.
Difficult conversations with a partner (whether a business partner or a life partner) are especially challenging because of the nature of the relationship.
Let’s take a look at what a typical heated conversation looks like as an example of what not to do. Usually, in these types of conversations, we hear a lot of defending oneself and accusing the other person. This accomplishes nothing except maybe to escalate the conflict and slammed doors.
If you can adequately learn how to have a learning conversation as opposed to an accusatory one, you’ll be much better off.
Approach a difficult conversation with lots of questions and try to see the conflict through their eyes. Ask them what their perspective is on the conflict so they can help you to understand what they’re feeling. Tell them that you want their opinion.
This is such a better approach. You can use this ‘learning conversation’ for difficult conversation topics ranging from household finances to marketing decisions within your company.
The fighting and resentment techniques don’t work. But you may be surprised at the result when you invite your partner to share their perspective.
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Show Transcript
In this video, I’m going to talk about how to have difficult conversations with your partner. And your partner can be a business partner or a life partner.
Hi, everybody. I’m A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer, and owner of Leap Frog Divorce. So how do you have a difficult conversation with your partner, whether it be a work partner or a life partner? What do most people do? And that’s where I’ll start, I’ll talk about what most people do and why it doesn’t work very well.
When you see most people in a heated discussion, what are they doing? Typically, each one of them is defending and accusing. You did this, you did that. I only said that because you said blank. And that absolutely accomplishes nothing, absolutely nothing except escalating the conflict, and probably causing one or both of you to basically turn around and head in opposite directions and slam doors and give each other the cold shoulder treatment.
Okay, so that’s what not to do. So what should you do instead?
Tip number one, approach your conversation as a learning conversation. Your goal is to learn more about his or her perspective, and how they see the conflict that the two of you have through their eyes. Okay, so you’re going to want to ask a lot of questions.
A great way to start is “help me understand this conflict. Help me understand the disagreement between us. It seems like we’re having a really difficult time right now. And I really want to hear your perspective and how you see this conflict between us. So help me understand how you see this.”
That is such a better approach to having a difficult conversation with your partner, whether it’s a business partner about finances, sales, marketing, operations, human resources, whatever it is, start a difficult conversation with wanting to sincerely learn more from that other person.
If it’s a life partner, the same thing, start a conversation by inviting them to share their perspective with you. I almost guarantee that this will result in a much better outcome than if you immediately launch into the blame game, pointing fingers, handing down judgments, and defending. It just doesn’t work.
So I hope you found this video helpful. If you have please like and subscribe. I’m releasing new videos all the time. And if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. Thank you so much for watching. Have a wonderful day and be well.
